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June 10, 2012

Comments

susan gorman

I MEANT it, girlie!!! You better know that! I am not one of those moms!

Caroline

Susan, THAT goes without saying!!!

Mama Cas W/Ham

I find that I prefer to foster a few really good, true friendships than go with a bunch of fair weather barely know you people. I get way more out of it. Been there where you are and let's face it...some people would rather deal with shallow than real. And hon, you are nothing if not real. Pick the ones who will step up when the shit hits the fan, you know offer their umbrella or help wipe you off. Stick with your true friends-they will stick with you and your kids will see what is of value and copy you. Do you REALLY want to be friends with THOSE people. Surely you have learned from LRHS days.

The Absent Minded Housewife

My teacher husband gets this from time to time. (Though I supposed it's more obvious when you are female.) See, you're a teacher, and they have kids who associate with your kids, and they think you judge their parenting on a professional level. The heirarchy of social friendliness matches up with how well their kids do in school. When they graduate it gets better.

Most of our social friends are other teachers, ya know?

Heidi

It goes on until death, I'm afraid ... or at least until 50, which I'm on the brink of turning (though running around with 3- and 7-year-olds who refuse to sleep, I sometimes FEEL as if I'm on the brink of death, too). I get the same kind of thing, and I usually attribute it to the fact that I'm an older mom and that my first son has Aspergers, doesn’t make friends easily, and likes social interaction in small doses. I don’t know this for sure, but I think the fact that I have a PhD, though I teach only a few hours a week as an adjunct and certainly don’t broadcast my background, makes some mothers put me in a different category and either feel uncomfortable with me or assume I’m not interested in the mommy/kid social rounds (and this is in an educated community! Do I just speak too grammatically?). I’m wondering if, for you, being a teacher might function in a similar way.

One thing I couldn’t tell from your post was this: Are all these moms at home during the day—full- or part-time—during the school year? If so, they may just be in a socializing rut, and including someone else is something they might LIKE to do in theory, but in practice, well, there’s that rut. If you truly, truly want to be in with the in crowd, I suppose you could try hosting some kind of gathering to see if you can nudge that rut a bit in your direction.

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