1. Winter has to end sometime.
2. This is also what they said about being pregnant.
3. As memory serves, I was pregnant with Celeste for approximately 945 weeks.
4. This winter easily has been twice as long as that.
5. "Spring ahead" really sucks, because instead of having more light earlier in the day when I'm out walking the dog, I just have more light at the end of the day so I can see the thermometer and the snowbanks and the thawing dog poop more clearly for longer into the evening. Yay.
6. Girl Scout cookie season is perfectly timed for life in the Frozen North because no one can tell what you look like under 87 layers of thermals and this winter is never ending so you might as well eat that entire box of cookies in one go because IT IS NEVER NOT GOING TO BE WINTER and so who cares about swimsuit season anyway? EAT THE COOKIES, DAMMIT.
7. Snow, like any other white garment, looks wonderful for approximately 27 minutes.
8. This is how long it takes for the sand truck to go by or coffee to dribble down your front and ruin the whole effect.
9. At the beginning of winter, a number of articles always appear about "embracing winter." Apparently, this means you have to put on a lot of layers of clothing and go outside, even when every fiber of your being is screaming at you to go inside and sit by the fire like our ancestors did WHICH IS HOW WE AVOIDED DYING OUT LIKE THE NEANDERTHALS DID. Not that anyone seems to know or care about "surviving" winter when they can go give it a big, stupid hug.
10. I have yet to see an article that encourages us to embrace "the shoulder season between late winter and very early spring when the puddles melt but everything freezes up again overnight."
11. Someone should get on that.
12. Magazines are also telling us it's time to revamp our spring wardrobes. Hey, maybe I'll switch out my white turtleneck for my coral-pink turtleneck!
13. I did see a skunk this morning, so the wildlife is starting to stir again.
14. Whoooo, that skunk did not look happy.
15. Murphy wanted to say hi anyway.
16. I DID NOT LET HIM.
17. I eagerly await the day when I can kick the kids outside and have some reasonable expectation that they will go out and stay out.
18. Spring arrives tomorrow, according to the calendar.
19. It's never going to be spring here, ever.